you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
