they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
