She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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