We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
