Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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