How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
