I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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