Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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