____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
