So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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