benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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