do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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