he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and she was petting her beer can
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I need moral support for this bender
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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