his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
