We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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