Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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