Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
