Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
