I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
