just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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