Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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