This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
