'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
