i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
