cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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