I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
