Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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