I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
