like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
