I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
