I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
