i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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