So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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