We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
