Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
