Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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