So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
