I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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