BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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