wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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