i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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