i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
