Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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