He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
