Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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