Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
