I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it glows. i had to have it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
