I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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