I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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