wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
